Superficiality

I really want some superficiality in my life. The task set before me each and every day as a student is to think about big questions ... most of which do not have any kind of concrete answer. Don't get me wrong ... I love it; in fact, the most frustrating thing about my science classes was that you either got a question right or wrong. But to have something like 15 of these big questions in your head is incredibly overwhelming! For example, at various points today I have considered (1) whether leaders should be moral exemplars or if it is valuable to expose flaws (2) a list of 10 different scriptural mandates and whether they are negotiable or not in the context of missions (3) what I would do if the sufferings of other people depended on my personal decision to apostasize (4) whether God has grace with apostates (5) predestination and its relationship to grace and (6) how they get all the little potato bits to stick together in tater tots [this is relatively inconsequential, but I really am stumped]. Thats a lot to dwell on.

Because I am always in the thinking zone, I have a hard time getting out of it. I went for a walk tonight with a friend, ended up back at her apartment, and started talking about Calvinism with a different friend who was over studying. We talked for a good hour, and when Christy mentioned our discussion to her roommate, they laughed about how it was no big suprise. I always find myself in the middle of really intense conversations, and my brain is tired. But really ... it is tired. But I can't seem to escape all the questions that are floating around in my head... I HAVE to think about them for school, and I can't just turn that on and off. 

I think I am way less fun now than I used to be. I watched a video documentary on Winston Churchill I made in high school, and it made me miss my old self in some respects. I don't miss being flippant, but I do miss freedom from the burden of constant contemplation.

I want to talk about boys and movies and music and ... well, anything that isn't explicitly deep. I want some superficiality.