I know, I know ... it's been too long again.
Not sure I even know why I haven't blogged in a long time -- I think my inner-life has been so cloudy and elusive that pinning down any coherent thoughts has been impossible. And, honestly, I am not sure that I have anything really coherent to say even now, as I'm typing. But I know that, in the last few months, I have turned my back on some practices and convictions that were very important to me -- probably because I don't know how to reconcile so much of who I was with my current realities. Moral of the story ... writing matters to me, but I don't know how to be a writer when my thought life is so uninspiring these days.
Standard thought bubbles:
"Do I have time to take a nap? Just kidding ... I will make time for it."
"I want corn muffins. And candy. Why aren't more stores open right now?"
"Time to get dressed ... Ugh. What can I squeeze my pregnant body into today?"
"How is breastfeeding seriously so complicated that there are entire books devoted to the subject?"
"Seriously, baby? Can you just chill out in there?"
"How can I get Josh to offer to rub my calves so I don't have to ask again?"
See? Not the stuff that inspirational blog posts are made of.
I think it is going to take me a while to figure out how to venture into motherhood without abandoning my sense of self. But I know that to be true to myself is to write (in some shape or form). So I am going to try to keep blogging!
Thursday, June 9, 2011
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Thankful Wife and Mom
It is the most random things that spur big and deep thoughts in my heart. Like the final episode of "The Bachelor" and a random TIME magazine article.
Here are the two things stirring in me:
1. I had a wonderful time last night watching "The Bachelor" with some dear friends. Smelly cheese + "healthy" fruit pizza + roses + cookies + laughter + everyone-lift-your-shirt-and-show-your-belly-so-Emily-doesn't-feel-awkward time + unexpected butt flashes = glorious. I haven't been following the show much at all ... in fact, I think this was the second episode I have seen this season. I could be hater and talk about how little real love exists in the show, but all I could think last night was how thankful I am for my man. As he proposed to Emily, I was off in my mind thinking about standing in an art gallery looking at Josh's tearing ocean eyes as he told me he loved me. After the proposal, they talked with the engaged couple ... and it's been several months since filming ended. Emily said how hard it was to watch the show and to still believe their love was real (and I wanted to remind her that she knew exactly what she was getting herself into). But it made me so thankful for my sweet man ... I never have to wonder if he really loves me or if he is really committed to me. He wakes up in the middle of the night to get my meter when I'm low ... he helps me pick out clothes when I'm running late in the morning, and tells me that I look great even when I know I'm a hot mess .... he helps me find my keys when I lose them for the second time in one day (I blame my pregnancy brain) ... he holds me each and every time I cry and never makes me feel silly for more tears ... he falls asleep with his hand on my belly while I'm reading ... he works extra hours so that me and TC will have a place to call home ... and he begins every nighttime prayers with "Dear God ... thank you for my wife." He is my best thing, and watching a lamentable relationship on TV last night made me so thankful to come home to my husband.
2. While sitting on the exam table last week, waiting for my endocrinologist to come into the room, I was reading a TIME article all about intelligent computers and what our world could look like in the next 50 years (http://www.time.com/time/health/article/0,8599,2048138,00.html). You can read the article if you are interested in the details, but it made me really start thinking about the world we are bringing TC into. I have heard plenty of musings in the past few months about what things could look like in the pretty near future, and most are fairly dire. I'm not really that worried about it ... Jesus knows perfectly well what the future holds, and I am pretty sure he had a say in the beginning of Tiny Cash's little life. But I did feel a kind of maternal instinct in myself ... and as I was walking through the worship center to tell Josh about this article, I thought to myself, "I have a mommy's heart." I am not sure when the transition started happening in me, but I went from being 100 % selfish about how TC would affect my life to dwelling instinctively on the life of our baby and all that it can be. It's not that I didn't love TC before, but it feels like more and more of my thought/emotional/spiritual life is getting wrapped up in love for our little snugget. And the weird/embarrassing evidence of this? I Facebook/blog stalk people that who have babies (whether I know them or not) and sometimes cry when I look at their pictures. Not really sure about this crazy person I am right now (dang pregnancy hormones)... but excited that I am starting to feel like a mom.
Side note:
I have spent most of the morning in bed because I hate getting up when it is raining (don't judge me ... I have 7 hour shift tonight at B&N). But you know what will get me out of bed? Nutter butters. I want some freakin' cookies, and they are worth a journey to the grocery store.
Here are the two things stirring in me:
1. I had a wonderful time last night watching "The Bachelor" with some dear friends. Smelly cheese + "healthy" fruit pizza + roses + cookies + laughter + everyone-lift-your-shirt-and-show-your-belly-so-Emily-doesn't-feel-awkward time + unexpected butt flashes = glorious. I haven't been following the show much at all ... in fact, I think this was the second episode I have seen this season. I could be hater and talk about how little real love exists in the show, but all I could think last night was how thankful I am for my man. As he proposed to Emily, I was off in my mind thinking about standing in an art gallery looking at Josh's tearing ocean eyes as he told me he loved me. After the proposal, they talked with the engaged couple ... and it's been several months since filming ended. Emily said how hard it was to watch the show and to still believe their love was real (and I wanted to remind her that she knew exactly what she was getting herself into). But it made me so thankful for my sweet man ... I never have to wonder if he really loves me or if he is really committed to me. He wakes up in the middle of the night to get my meter when I'm low ... he helps me pick out clothes when I'm running late in the morning, and tells me that I look great even when I know I'm a hot mess .... he helps me find my keys when I lose them for the second time in one day (I blame my pregnancy brain) ... he holds me each and every time I cry and never makes me feel silly for more tears ... he falls asleep with his hand on my belly while I'm reading ... he works extra hours so that me and TC will have a place to call home ... and he begins every nighttime prayers with "Dear God ... thank you for my wife." He is my best thing, and watching a lamentable relationship on TV last night made me so thankful to come home to my husband.
2. While sitting on the exam table last week, waiting for my endocrinologist to come into the room, I was reading a TIME article all about intelligent computers and what our world could look like in the next 50 years (http://www.time.com/time/health/article/0,8599,2048138,00.html). You can read the article if you are interested in the details, but it made me really start thinking about the world we are bringing TC into. I have heard plenty of musings in the past few months about what things could look like in the pretty near future, and most are fairly dire. I'm not really that worried about it ... Jesus knows perfectly well what the future holds, and I am pretty sure he had a say in the beginning of Tiny Cash's little life. But I did feel a kind of maternal instinct in myself ... and as I was walking through the worship center to tell Josh about this article, I thought to myself, "I have a mommy's heart." I am not sure when the transition started happening in me, but I went from being 100 % selfish about how TC would affect my life to dwelling instinctively on the life of our baby and all that it can be. It's not that I didn't love TC before, but it feels like more and more of my thought/emotional/spiritual life is getting wrapped up in love for our little snugget. And the weird/embarrassing evidence of this? I Facebook/blog stalk people that who have babies (whether I know them or not) and sometimes cry when I look at their pictures. Not really sure about this crazy person I am right now (dang pregnancy hormones)... but excited that I am starting to feel like a mom.
Side note:
I have spent most of the morning in bed because I hate getting up when it is raining (don't judge me ... I have 7 hour shift tonight at B&N). But you know what will get me out of bed? Nutter butters. I want some freakin' cookies, and they are worth a journey to the grocery store.
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Hillsong United
Thanks to the unmerited favor that has characterized our lives recently, Josh and I ended up going to see Hillsong last night ... FOR FREE! (Thanks for canceling, Miles and Jen!) People around here have been talking about it for weeks, so I jumped on the chance to go. But more than I wanted to go for me, I wanted to go for Josh. He NEVER gets to just worship, to sit in a seat and connect with God without working at the same time. It is truly a treasure for me to get to sit next to him, to hear his steady voice, and to occasionally rest my head on his shoulder.
Just a couple thoughts from the night:
1. I love my husband. It was fun to see his eyes wide as he watched all of the crazy lighting ... he looked like a kid in a candy store. I think I have only ever seen that face when a giant plate of wings is placed in front of him. But last night, his gaze was also tinged with intense concentration as he studied his art. I love his worship heart.
2. I have heard a lot of people criticize Sunday-morning worship at 12Stone for being too "produced" ... and I am not hating on those people, because that was my very own first impression. And if there was ever an over-produced worship environment, it is a Hillsong concert. But God has made it so clear to me that worship is all about posture ... and I can come with criticism or with praise (Side note: this is just as true of sermons ... approach with humility as a learner, and you will learn. Approach as an expert, and you will critique -- unconstructively). And, my first Sunday at 12stone (in the midst of an internal rant to God about how ridiculous the production was), he gave me a vision. I saw the roof of the worship center lifted away, created an unhindered space for the lights/sound/song offering to reach the ears and heart of Jesus. And I got a fresh taste of that last night.
3. Focus has never been my strong suit (just ask any of my friends from college who ever tried to study in the library with me). And that has always been fairly true of me in worship as well. I used to lament this fact, thinking that I was half-heartedly approaching the God who deserves all of me. But my focus doesn't necessarily drift away from God, just away from the song. A word or a thought will capture me, and I can simultaneously sing a familiar song while chasing a thought trail in my mind. And I think God is honored by the way that lyrics make me think new and fresh thoughts, or mediate on old and familiar truths.
Side note:
This morning, I made myself some eggs for breakfast. About 15 min later, I smelled something funny coming from the kitchen while I was in the other room doing my make-up. I walked in and realized that I never turned the burner off -- and my spatula had melted into a pool of plastic in the pan. I couldn't stop laughing ... who else would do something like that? When I was leaving my endocrinologist appointment today, I got a text from Josh that just said "I love you." Guess what he had found?
Just a couple thoughts from the night:
1. I love my husband. It was fun to see his eyes wide as he watched all of the crazy lighting ... he looked like a kid in a candy store. I think I have only ever seen that face when a giant plate of wings is placed in front of him. But last night, his gaze was also tinged with intense concentration as he studied his art. I love his worship heart.
2. I have heard a lot of people criticize Sunday-morning worship at 12Stone for being too "produced" ... and I am not hating on those people, because that was my very own first impression. And if there was ever an over-produced worship environment, it is a Hillsong concert. But God has made it so clear to me that worship is all about posture ... and I can come with criticism or with praise (Side note: this is just as true of sermons ... approach with humility as a learner, and you will learn. Approach as an expert, and you will critique -- unconstructively). And, my first Sunday at 12stone (in the midst of an internal rant to God about how ridiculous the production was), he gave me a vision. I saw the roof of the worship center lifted away, created an unhindered space for the lights/sound/song offering to reach the ears and heart of Jesus. And I got a fresh taste of that last night.
3. Focus has never been my strong suit (just ask any of my friends from college who ever tried to study in the library with me). And that has always been fairly true of me in worship as well. I used to lament this fact, thinking that I was half-heartedly approaching the God who deserves all of me. But my focus doesn't necessarily drift away from God, just away from the song. A word or a thought will capture me, and I can simultaneously sing a familiar song while chasing a thought trail in my mind. And I think God is honored by the way that lyrics make me think new and fresh thoughts, or mediate on old and familiar truths.
Side note:
This morning, I made myself some eggs for breakfast. About 15 min later, I smelled something funny coming from the kitchen while I was in the other room doing my make-up. I walked in and realized that I never turned the burner off -- and my spatula had melted into a pool of plastic in the pan. I couldn't stop laughing ... who else would do something like that? When I was leaving my endocrinologist appointment today, I got a text from Josh that just said "I love you." Guess what he had found?
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Great and Humble God
I am pretty much obsessed with this song right now ... when the anthem builds and repeats "my strength in life is I am yours" over and over ... shoot, yeah. Speaks straight to my heart.
But the reason that I wanted to share it with you is because of one phrase that I have been turning over in my head since I first heard this song at church. In the first verse, she calls God "great and humble." Those two words are pretty familiar adjectives in worship songs, but she sings them in sequence as though they naturally belong together. But true greatness tempered by true humility seems a rarity to me ... it's almost as if the two terms are mutually exclusive. Our great God has absolutely no reason to be humble -- just check out Job 38 (if for no other reason, because God is pretty darn feisty here ... I like to think that part of my character comes from Him).
He questions Job:
“Where were you when I laid the earth’s foundation?
Tell me, if you understand.
Who marked off its dimensions? Surely you know!
Who stretched a measuring line across it?
On what were its footings set,
or who laid its cornerstone—
while the morning stars sang together
and all the angels shouted for joy?" (38:4-7)
For whatever reason, whenever humans achieve 'greatness' (in whatever way we understand that word), we seem to deem ourselves worthy of praise. And maybe this self-exaltation isn't vocal or public, but there is a quiet temptation to pat ourselves on the back for whatever small greatness we have achieved.
It is fascinating/beautiful/mysterious/wonderful/disarming to me that the very God who created the heavens and the earth from nothing, the One who set the universe into motion, the one who knits life together ... he is characterized by a marked humility. Rather, he defines the word. The more I learn about God, the more I realize that He exists in the unknown overlap between so many opposing truths (ex. justice and mercy) ... and I love this about Him. To serve a God who is so beyond comprehension is exhilarating ... and humbling.
As I write this, I can tangibly feel the same awkward discomfort that Peter felt as Jesus knelt to wash his feet (John 13). In that passage, Peter refers to Jesus as Lord -- though he understood so little of the divinity of Jesus, he understood that footwashing was not a task fit for his Lord. I feel so undeserving of the way that Jesus, in all his glorious greatness, has relentlessly lowered himself to serve me, to wash me, and to lovingly uphold me.
Great and humble God, you are my passion!
Total side notes:
1. I am laying in bed next to my sleeping husband, and his leg hair touched me just enough to make me think there was a spider in our bed. Whew.
2. Josh and I were having a disagreement about a potential baby name, and I resolved it by telling him that our baby won't even know it's real name because I am always going to call it snugget (snuggle + nugget = snugget).
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
New Filter
I find myself again apologizing for a total lack of blog activity ... apparently this will be a trend in my life.
But this most recent lapse in content has a reason ... I am pregnant. No, it isn't morning sickness or complete exhaustion that have kept me from my blog (though those maladies have definitely plagued my life in the last few months), nor the myriad of doctors appointments that have commandeered my schedule (endocrinologist + perinatologist + midwife = a whole lot of time). Honestly, I haven't wanted the whole world to know about "tiny cash" (as I affectionately call 'it'), but I have had a hard time being reflective about much else. As soon as I found out about our little baby, it was like I put on "mom" glasses and started seeing the world in an entirely different way. As much as I want to focus on other things in my life, I find myself distracted by thoughts of strollers, nursery decorations, ultrasounds, etc. I am THAT girl, but I can't help it. Somehow all my mental energy gets devoted to the health and future of this tiny life inside me, and I just couldn't say anything on this blog without first telling you all about tiny cash.
Because I know you are curious, here are some FAQ's about the Cash pregnancy:
Q: Was this planned? Were you trying?
A: Short answer -- no. Long answer -- NNNNNNOOOOOOOOO. Not at all. But I am honestly not all that surprised ... Jesus has this way of giving me exactly what I think I don't want. And the fact that I was soooo NOT ready for a baby is exactly why I knew we would end up with one.
Q: How does your diabetes affect the pregnancy?
A: It certainly makes everything more complicated. Because of the betes, my pregnancy is considered high-risk, so I have to see a maternal-fetal specialist (the perinatologist) in addition to my midwife. And my endocrinologist (my diabetes doc) is watching me SUPER closely and I have to be militant about my blood sugars. But with great control and lots of prayer, hopefully tiny cash will be born perfectly normal.
Q: When did you find out? How far along are you?
A: We found out on Christmas Eve. I asked Josh to pick up a pregnancy test because I cried while we watched "Christmas Vacation" -- my oh-so-emotional response to a movie like that made me feel like I was either crazy or pregnant. Turns out it was the latter. So I am 13 weeks right now (TC is the size of a peach, for those who care), my due date is Aug.28, and I am a currently wearing pants from bigger-Emily days.
Q: How do you feel about it? Are you excited?
A: Josh was excited from Day 1 ... he is thrilled at the prospect of being a father (he will be phenomenal), he loves my growing belly, and has dutifully cleaned up my puke and made several grocery-store runs at my whim. I, on the other hand, spent the first several weeks crying ... a lot. Granted, I am hormonal lady right now, so it really didn't take much to make me cry. But there was some real reflecting to do about who I thought I was, what we were planning to do, and how my whole life was changing (not to mention the added stress of potential harm from my diabetes). But God's kindness to me has been overwhelming -- he has given me an all-star support team here, and he has shown me so much about who He is and who I am.
More on this in the future!
But this most recent lapse in content has a reason ... I am pregnant. No, it isn't morning sickness or complete exhaustion that have kept me from my blog (though those maladies have definitely plagued my life in the last few months), nor the myriad of doctors appointments that have commandeered my schedule (endocrinologist + perinatologist + midwife = a whole lot of time). Honestly, I haven't wanted the whole world to know about "tiny cash" (as I affectionately call 'it'), but I have had a hard time being reflective about much else. As soon as I found out about our little baby, it was like I put on "mom" glasses and started seeing the world in an entirely different way. As much as I want to focus on other things in my life, I find myself distracted by thoughts of strollers, nursery decorations, ultrasounds, etc. I am THAT girl, but I can't help it. Somehow all my mental energy gets devoted to the health and future of this tiny life inside me, and I just couldn't say anything on this blog without first telling you all about tiny cash.
Because I know you are curious, here are some FAQ's about the Cash pregnancy:
Q: Was this planned? Were you trying?
A: Short answer -- no. Long answer -- NNNNNNOOOOOOOOO. Not at all. But I am honestly not all that surprised ... Jesus has this way of giving me exactly what I think I don't want. And the fact that I was soooo NOT ready for a baby is exactly why I knew we would end up with one.
Q: How does your diabetes affect the pregnancy?
A: It certainly makes everything more complicated. Because of the betes, my pregnancy is considered high-risk, so I have to see a maternal-fetal specialist (the perinatologist) in addition to my midwife. And my endocrinologist (my diabetes doc) is watching me SUPER closely and I have to be militant about my blood sugars. But with great control and lots of prayer, hopefully tiny cash will be born perfectly normal.
Q: When did you find out? How far along are you?
A: We found out on Christmas Eve. I asked Josh to pick up a pregnancy test because I cried while we watched "Christmas Vacation" -- my oh-so-emotional response to a movie like that made me feel like I was either crazy or pregnant. Turns out it was the latter. So I am 13 weeks right now (TC is the size of a peach, for those who care), my due date is Aug.28, and I am a currently wearing pants from bigger-Emily days.
Q: How do you feel about it? Are you excited?
A: Josh was excited from Day 1 ... he is thrilled at the prospect of being a father (he will be phenomenal), he loves my growing belly, and has dutifully cleaned up my puke and made several grocery-store runs at my whim. I, on the other hand, spent the first several weeks crying ... a lot. Granted, I am hormonal lady right now, so it really didn't take much to make me cry. But there was some real reflecting to do about who I thought I was, what we were planning to do, and how my whole life was changing (not to mention the added stress of potential harm from my diabetes). But God's kindness to me has been overwhelming -- he has given me an all-star support team here, and he has shown me so much about who He is and who I am.
More on this in the future!
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
"Sometimes the most disciplined thing you can do is go back to bed" -- Emily Cash
Yep, that's right. I quoted myself.
That is what I said, in my mind, as I got back into bed for the 2nd time this morning. I didn't go to either of my jobs today, and it has been far too long.
The past two nights have included retail dreams, and last night I was up at 3 am making lists of things I needed to do today. Clearly, this sista needed a day off.
And I decided to flip-off my to-do list. I woke up late, needlessly internet window-shopped, read some blogs, and then decided to eat some breakfast.
Josh will probably tense up just hearing that I took my toast to bed with me (crumbs = death), where I finally started reading "Notes From a Small Island," by Bill Bryson. Too long has that book sat untouched, and it was fun to revel in the charms of Britian (tea, rain, cranky old ladies, big knit sweaters, etc). Josh and I have toyed with the idea of living abroad someday, and both of us can picture a life in England -- all the more reason I enjoyed my vicarious romp through England this morning.
I went for a run, got a haircut and went to the chiropractor.
Thank you Jesus for some time to breathe!
And off to my bed for naptime...
Yep, that's right. I quoted myself.
That is what I said, in my mind, as I got back into bed for the 2nd time this morning. I didn't go to either of my jobs today, and it has been far too long.
The past two nights have included retail dreams, and last night I was up at 3 am making lists of things I needed to do today. Clearly, this sista needed a day off.
And I decided to flip-off my to-do list. I woke up late, needlessly internet window-shopped, read some blogs, and then decided to eat some breakfast.
Josh will probably tense up just hearing that I took my toast to bed with me (crumbs = death), where I finally started reading "Notes From a Small Island," by Bill Bryson. Too long has that book sat untouched, and it was fun to revel in the charms of Britian (tea, rain, cranky old ladies, big knit sweaters, etc). Josh and I have toyed with the idea of living abroad someday, and both of us can picture a life in England -- all the more reason I enjoyed my vicarious romp through England this morning.
I went for a run, got a haircut and went to the chiropractor.
Thank you Jesus for some time to breathe!
And off to my bed for naptime...
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
O Holy Night
Though I have quite the fondness for academia, and I often find myself missing the classroom, there are some parts of being a student I do NOT miss. I have seen quite a few students come into Barnes and Noble bearing an armful of textbooks and slumping upstairs to the cafe for a long study session. I do not miss having award-winning bags under my eyes, nor do I miss having to go on a post-finals caffeine detox, nor do I miss the experience of shoving my brain full of information for hours at a time.
And I realized that (even though I am working WAY too much right now), being finals-free allows me much more mental space to dwell on the advent season. One of my favorite Christmas songs (which is technically an advent song), "O Come O Come Emmanuel" has been like a background track in my mind for the last couple weeks. I love that it is somber and monastic, yet expectant and jubilant. It reminds me to again seek and expect "God with Us" -- to desire His immanent presence and believe fully that it is given.
I have a friend who excuses his lack of holiday cheer by saying, "I celebrate the Incarnation year-round." I will be quick to acknowledge how right it is to celebrate the coming of Jesus in daily life, but an ingrained thankfulness for the gift of Jesus seems all the more reason to love this particular season. It deserves special, marked attention. Though I celebrate my marriage every day, I know that anniversaries will bring reflection and intentional communion.
I was driving to work the other day when I heard "O Holy Night" on the radio. If for no other reason, get excited about Christmas because theologically rich lyrics pervade the radio! I am always moved by that song, and I was in tears when I got to work. Here is just the first verse:
O Holy Night! The stars are brightly shining,
My favorite part? "For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn" ... Heck ya! Thank you, Jesus, for the inbreaking power of your love, for salvific power of your sacrifice, and the restorative power of your humility.
I hope that in these last few days before Christmas, you too get a chance to really engage the advent season and prepare your heart for the exuberance of Christ given to us! One last thought for you from Phillipians:
Side note:
I have the best husband ever. I was having a terrible day on Friday, and couldn't shake my frustration and sadness that night. Josh asked, "Is there anything I can do to fix it?" My reply? "I want to break something." He responded with an "Ok" that seemed laced with my-wife-is-crazy undertones, and he left the room. Minutes later, he told me to come out to the living room. He had brought out all the little wooden boxes from our wedding centerpieces, laid them on the floor, and then procured a hammer. Mass destruction followed, until there was wood all over the apartment and we were both sitting on the floor laughing. I love him ... and I promise I am mentally stable.
And I realized that (even though I am working WAY too much right now), being finals-free allows me much more mental space to dwell on the advent season. One of my favorite Christmas songs (which is technically an advent song), "O Come O Come Emmanuel" has been like a background track in my mind for the last couple weeks. I love that it is somber and monastic, yet expectant and jubilant. It reminds me to again seek and expect "God with Us" -- to desire His immanent presence and believe fully that it is given.
I have a friend who excuses his lack of holiday cheer by saying, "I celebrate the Incarnation year-round." I will be quick to acknowledge how right it is to celebrate the coming of Jesus in daily life, but an ingrained thankfulness for the gift of Jesus seems all the more reason to love this particular season. It deserves special, marked attention. Though I celebrate my marriage every day, I know that anniversaries will bring reflection and intentional communion.
I was driving to work the other day when I heard "O Holy Night" on the radio. If for no other reason, get excited about Christmas because theologically rich lyrics pervade the radio! I am always moved by that song, and I was in tears when I got to work. Here is just the first verse:
O Holy Night! The stars are brightly shining,
It is the night of the dear Saviour's birth.
Long lay the world in sin and error pining.
Till He appeared and the Spirit felt its worth.
A thrill of hope the weary world rejoices,
For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn.
Fall on your knees! Oh, hear the angel voices!
O night divine, the night when Christ was born;
O night, O Holy Night , O night divine!
O night, O Holy Night , O night divine!
My favorite part? "For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn" ... Heck ya! Thank you, Jesus, for the inbreaking power of your love, for salvific power of your sacrifice, and the restorative power of your humility.I hope that in these last few days before Christmas, you too get a chance to really engage the advent season and prepare your heart for the exuberance of Christ given to us! One last thought for you from Phillipians:
"[Jesus],who, being in very nature God,
did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage;
rather, he made himself nothing
by taking the very nature of a servant,
being made in human likeness.
And being found in appearance as a man,
he humbled himself
by becoming obedient to death—
even death on a cross!
Therefore God exalted him to the highest place
and gave him the name that is above every name,
that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,
in heaven and on earth and under the earth,
and every tongue acknowledge that Jesus Christ is Lord,
to the glory of God the Father."
did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage;
rather, he made himself nothing
by taking the very nature of a servant,
being made in human likeness.
And being found in appearance as a man,
he humbled himself
by becoming obedient to death—
even death on a cross!
Therefore God exalted him to the highest place
and gave him the name that is above every name,
that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,
in heaven and on earth and under the earth,
and every tongue acknowledge that Jesus Christ is Lord,
to the glory of God the Father."
Side note:
I have the best husband ever. I was having a terrible day on Friday, and couldn't shake my frustration and sadness that night. Josh asked, "Is there anything I can do to fix it?" My reply? "I want to break something." He responded with an "Ok" that seemed laced with my-wife-is-crazy undertones, and he left the room. Minutes later, he told me to come out to the living room. He had brought out all the little wooden boxes from our wedding centerpieces, laid them on the floor, and then procured a hammer. Mass destruction followed, until there was wood all over the apartment and we were both sitting on the floor laughing. I love him ... and I promise I am mentally stable.
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