It is the most random things that spur big and deep thoughts in my heart. Like the final episode of "The Bachelor" and a random TIME magazine article.
Here are the two things stirring in me:
1. I had a wonderful time last night watching "The Bachelor" with some dear friends. Smelly cheese + "healthy" fruit pizza + roses + cookies + laughter + everyone-lift-your-shirt-and-show-your-belly-so-Emily-doesn't-feel-awkward time + unexpected butt flashes = glorious. I haven't been following the show much at all ... in fact, I think this was the second episode I have seen this season. I could be hater and talk about how little real love exists in the show, but all I could think last night was how thankful I am for my man. As he proposed to Emily, I was off in my mind thinking about standing in an art gallery looking at Josh's tearing ocean eyes as he told me he loved me. After the proposal, they talked with the engaged couple ... and it's been several months since filming ended. Emily said how hard it was to watch the show and to still believe their love was real (and I wanted to remind her that she knew exactly what she was getting herself into). But it made me so thankful for my sweet man ... I never have to wonder if he really loves me or if he is really committed to me. He wakes up in the middle of the night to get my meter when I'm low ... he helps me pick out clothes when I'm running late in the morning, and tells me that I look great even when I know I'm a hot mess .... he helps me find my keys when I lose them for the second time in one day (I blame my pregnancy brain) ... he holds me each and every time I cry and never makes me feel silly for more tears ... he falls asleep with his hand on my belly while I'm reading ... he works extra hours so that me and TC will have a place to call home ... and he begins every nighttime prayers with "Dear God ... thank you for my wife." He is my best thing, and watching a lamentable relationship on TV last night made me so thankful to come home to my husband.
2. While sitting on the exam table last week, waiting for my endocrinologist to come into the room, I was reading a TIME article all about intelligent computers and what our world could look like in the next 50 years (http://www.time.com/time/health/article/0,8599,2048138,00.html). You can read the article if you are interested in the details, but it made me really start thinking about the world we are bringing TC into. I have heard plenty of musings in the past few months about what things could look like in the pretty near future, and most are fairly dire. I'm not really that worried about it ... Jesus knows perfectly well what the future holds, and I am pretty sure he had a say in the beginning of Tiny Cash's little life. But I did feel a kind of maternal instinct in myself ... and as I was walking through the worship center to tell Josh about this article, I thought to myself, "I have a mommy's heart." I am not sure when the transition started happening in me, but I went from being 100 % selfish about how TC would affect my life to dwelling instinctively on the life of our baby and all that it can be. It's not that I didn't love TC before, but it feels like more and more of my thought/emotional/spiritual life is getting wrapped up in love for our little snugget. And the weird/embarrassing evidence of this? I Facebook/blog stalk people that who have babies (whether I know them or not) and sometimes cry when I look at their pictures. Not really sure about this crazy person I am right now (dang pregnancy hormones)... but excited that I am starting to feel like a mom.
Side note:
I have spent most of the morning in bed because I hate getting up when it is raining (don't judge me ... I have 7 hour shift tonight at B&N). But you know what will get me out of bed? Nutter butters. I want some freakin' cookies, and they are worth a journey to the grocery store.
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