Peace

God is so good. I mean, it is pretty ridiculous. Sometimes I just look up at the sky and wonder if He can really be for real ... I mean, why he takes such care in loving me escapes my grasp. For example, I have been given several moments of preemptive love and wisdom in the last few weeks ... how cool is that? To think that I am on His mind, and He uses his foreknowledge to prepare me for circumstances is awesome. Who am I?

An extra special gift that he gave me this weekend was a large dose of his peace. Two things that have been harassing my spirit in the last week are discontentment and fear ... and the Lord literally went out of His way to rescue me from those torments. Friday night, at the sisterhood retreat for my sorority, one of the local college pastors came to preach for us. And it was straight up from the Lord for my life. He talked about tests from the Lord, and gave us two examples out of Exodus:

(1) When God brings the Israelites out of Egypt (and out of slavery), they get to the desert and start whining to the Lord about how they miss their pots of meat (haha, thats kind of a funny thing to miss). Ok, so in 16:4, God says that he will rain down manna from heaven in order to TEST them. The Lord is giving them an opportunity to trust Him, and to lean solely on His provision. Just like they Israelites were discontent in their bellies, I have been discontent in relationships. God is providing manna, and I was whining for something more. I felt like over 3 years of manna has been enough, and I deserved something else. Turns out, the Israelites ate manna for forty years ... which means I may be single for forty years, or more. Instead of viewing this as a problem, God reminded me that this is a beautiful opportunity to show my devotion to Him. Hard to hear, but good.

*Side note -- this reminds me of lembras in Lord of the Rings ... it is elven bread given to the fellowship of the ring to sustain them on their journey. When Sam and Frodo get near the end of the journey, they have nothing else left  -- and the book says the the lembras "had a potency that increased as travelers relied on it alone and did not mingle it with other foods." 

(2) Alright, and now for fear ... check out Exodus 20:18-21. God is settin' off all kinds of fireworks on the top of Mount Sinai, and the Israelites tell Moses that they don't want to hear from God, because they will die. This pretty clearly reflected my attitude about my impending exit interview ... I was afraid to pray about it, for fear that God would make me fail as an opportunity to seriously humble me. I was cowering in front of a powerful God, and forgetting his goodness and abundant love for me. How this happened, I am not really sure -- the Lord has made a point to be good to me, and I am so quick to forget. But God reminded me that they display of his awesomeness is a test, where I can respond in fear or in holy fear (or reverence). So I am now choosing to pray for my exit interview :)

So those tumultuous places in my heart were calmed and covered in peace. Seriously ... how is God so good?