New Filter

I find myself again apologizing for a total lack of blog activity ... apparently this will be a trend in my life.
But this most recent lapse in content has a reason ... I am pregnant. No, it isn't morning sickness or complete exhaustion that have kept me from my blog (though those maladies have definitely plagued my life in the last few months), nor the myriad of doctors appointments that have commandeered my schedule (endocrinologist + perinatologist + midwife = a whole lot of time). Honestly, I haven't wanted the whole world to know about "tiny cash" (as I affectionately call 'it'), but I have had a hard time being reflective about much else. As soon as I found out about our little baby, it was like I put on "mom" glasses and started seeing the world in an entirely different way. As much as I want to focus on other things in my life, I find myself distracted by thoughts of strollers, nursery decorations, ultrasounds, etc. I am THAT girl, but I can't help it. Somehow all my mental energy gets devoted to the health and future of this tiny life inside me, and I just couldn't say anything on this blog without first telling you all about tiny cash.

Because I know you are curious, here are some FAQ's about the Cash pregnancy:

Q: Was this planned? Were you trying?
A: Short answer -- no. Long answer -- NNNNNNOOOOOOOOO. Not at all. But I am honestly not all that surprised ... Jesus has this way of giving me exactly what I think I don't want. And the fact that I was soooo NOT ready for a baby is exactly why I knew we would end up with one.

Q: How does your diabetes affect the pregnancy?
A: It certainly makes everything more complicated. Because of the betes, my pregnancy is considered high-risk, so I have to see a maternal-fetal specialist (the perinatologist) in addition to my midwife. And my endocrinologist (my diabetes doc) is watching me SUPER closely and I have to be militant about my blood sugars. But with great control and lots of prayer, hopefully tiny cash will be born perfectly normal.

Q: When did you find out? How far along are you?
A: We found out on Christmas Eve. I asked Josh to pick up a pregnancy test because I cried while we watched "Christmas Vacation" -- my oh-so-emotional response to a movie like that made me feel like I was either crazy or pregnant. Turns out it was the latter. So I am 13 weeks right now (TC is the size of a peach, for those who care), my due date is Aug.28, and I am a currently wearing pants from bigger-Emily days.

Q: How do you feel about it? Are you excited?
A: Josh was excited from Day 1 ... he is thrilled at the prospect of being a father (he will be phenomenal), he loves my growing belly, and has dutifully cleaned up my puke and made several grocery-store runs at my whim. I, on the other hand, spent the first several weeks crying ... a lot. Granted, I am hormonal lady right now, so it really didn't take much to make me cry. But there was some real reflecting to do about who I thought I was, what we were planning to do, and how my whole life was changing (not to mention the added stress of potential harm from my diabetes). But God's kindness to me has been overwhelming -- he has given me an all-star support team here, and he has shown me so much about who He is and who I am.

More on this in the future!