Turns out moving to a new place is really hard. I am trying to figure out my job at church (which is really exciting .... like REALLY exciting) which is still largely unknown, trying to find a part-time job (which is proving to be more difficult than I originally suspected ... cursed University Scholars degree), trying to figure out what it looks like to love/befriend/teach/come alongside the three teenage girls that I live with, and trying to make friends (which is also proving hard).
I know all of those things, especially relationships, take time. and God is continuing to minister to me in wonderful ways. But I am really beginning to ache for (1) friendship ... I didn't realize how wonderful my support system has been in Colorado, Waco and Philly ... and I am craving that quality of community (2) rhythm ... my life is so sporadic, and I am finding it difficult to create discipline, to feel settled and to make commitments.
And my headaches continue to rear their ugly heads (do they have more than one? or just mine?) all the time ... I want to figure out why I'm never functioning at 100% so that I can change things and devote ALL of myself to this ministry.
Needless to say, I am at a point of frustration. BUT .... I am also just beginning to dream about what my role will look like in the high school ministry, and I can't contain my excitement. So things are hard ... but they are good.
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Friday, August 14, 2009
Week #1 in Georgia!
So, turns out I live in Georgia now :)
This has been quite the week for me! I got here last Thursday, and Claire (my adoptive mom of sorts) came to pick me up. I was so nervous on my way here that I couldn't even eat much on Thursday ... which is quite out of character for me! The idea of moving in with people I had never met was incredibly overwhelming, but it has been wonderful so far! Claire and Robert have gone out of their way to make me feel at home ... I have been brought to tears more than once when I dwell on their willingness to share their home and their things with me!
So I moved all my stuff in, and spent my first couple of days here getting settled in my room and learning my way around a little bit. I got to go spend a couple of hours at the church on Saturday praying over my upcoming ministry, and it was a powerful time for me to spend with the Lord.
Sunday morning I was driving to church, and I got stuck in traffic. I thought to myself, "Why on earth would there be traffic on a Sunday morning?" Well, it was 12Stone traffic! From what I hear, there are over 8,000 people involved in 12stone ... that is crazy! It was actually kind of a rough morning for me ... watching the worship leaders stand up their with their designer jeans and fancy lights made me ache to be back at Church Under the Bridge. I went to Panera and then the mecca of shopping ... the mall of georgia. I pretty much lived the suburban dream. It was fun, but also kind of scared me ... how quick I am to forget the things that I am passionate about!
But, the Lord is awesome (as usual) and quickly reminded me of the wonderful ways that he is moving in and through 12Stone. I started my internship Monday morning, and I had a great day! I got to catch up with some pastors that I had met in Philly, and I also met about a billion new people. Everyone was so welcoming and I could see their commitments to the Lord and to ministry. I hit the ground running, because this Wednesday was Pointpalooza (a huge back-to-school, bring-your-friends carnival kind of thing). So spent some quality time helping to get things ready, call students, etc. I also went and got my GA drivers liscense and spent a lot of time filling out/turning in job applications.
Pointpalooza was really fun ... I got to catch up with some of the adult leaders I had met in Philly, which was awesome! There were so many students there ... it was crazy! I am really excited about my ministry here ... God is doing some powerful things in the lives of these students, and I am so honored that I get to be a part of that!
Some other fun parts of my week:
- hanging out with the girls I live with! Emma, Emily and Melanie are all wonderful girls! They are each so different, and I am eager to get to know them and walk alongside them in the coming years!
- going to Waters Edge, the college/young adult ministry at 12stone. Miles (the college pastor and also my internship director) spoke a powerful word and then did open baptisms ... it was so beautiful! No one could contain their joy as we watched so many people take giant leaps of faith. Loved it!
- hanging out with Sammi. enough said :)
- getting coffee with Cami, one of the other interns. God used her to speak into a lot of my frustrations and fears ... she was wonderful.
- being constantly humbled. I am very very quickly realizing that I am not as big of a deal as I think I am, that I don't know everything, and that I have sooooo much to learn!
- so many other things!
Keep me in your prayers ... I want to find just the right part-time job, and I want the Lord to close all doors except the right one! And I am looking to find some friends ... I could use His help on that too :)
This has been quite the week for me! I got here last Thursday, and Claire (my adoptive mom of sorts) came to pick me up. I was so nervous on my way here that I couldn't even eat much on Thursday ... which is quite out of character for me! The idea of moving in with people I had never met was incredibly overwhelming, but it has been wonderful so far! Claire and Robert have gone out of their way to make me feel at home ... I have been brought to tears more than once when I dwell on their willingness to share their home and their things with me!
So I moved all my stuff in, and spent my first couple of days here getting settled in my room and learning my way around a little bit. I got to go spend a couple of hours at the church on Saturday praying over my upcoming ministry, and it was a powerful time for me to spend with the Lord.
Sunday morning I was driving to church, and I got stuck in traffic. I thought to myself, "Why on earth would there be traffic on a Sunday morning?" Well, it was 12Stone traffic! From what I hear, there are over 8,000 people involved in 12stone ... that is crazy! It was actually kind of a rough morning for me ... watching the worship leaders stand up their with their designer jeans and fancy lights made me ache to be back at Church Under the Bridge. I went to Panera and then the mecca of shopping ... the mall of georgia. I pretty much lived the suburban dream. It was fun, but also kind of scared me ... how quick I am to forget the things that I am passionate about!
But, the Lord is awesome (as usual) and quickly reminded me of the wonderful ways that he is moving in and through 12Stone. I started my internship Monday morning, and I had a great day! I got to catch up with some pastors that I had met in Philly, and I also met about a billion new people. Everyone was so welcoming and I could see their commitments to the Lord and to ministry. I hit the ground running, because this Wednesday was Pointpalooza (a huge back-to-school, bring-your-friends carnival kind of thing). So spent some quality time helping to get things ready, call students, etc. I also went and got my GA drivers liscense and spent a lot of time filling out/turning in job applications.
Pointpalooza was really fun ... I got to catch up with some of the adult leaders I had met in Philly, which was awesome! There were so many students there ... it was crazy! I am really excited about my ministry here ... God is doing some powerful things in the lives of these students, and I am so honored that I get to be a part of that!
Some other fun parts of my week:
- hanging out with the girls I live with! Emma, Emily and Melanie are all wonderful girls! They are each so different, and I am eager to get to know them and walk alongside them in the coming years!
- going to Waters Edge, the college/young adult ministry at 12stone. Miles (the college pastor and also my internship director) spoke a powerful word and then did open baptisms ... it was so beautiful! No one could contain their joy as we watched so many people take giant leaps of faith. Loved it!
- hanging out with Sammi. enough said :)
- getting coffee with Cami, one of the other interns. God used her to speak into a lot of my frustrations and fears ... she was wonderful.
- being constantly humbled. I am very very quickly realizing that I am not as big of a deal as I think I am, that I don't know everything, and that I have sooooo much to learn!
- so many other things!
Keep me in your prayers ... I want to find just the right part-time job, and I want the Lord to close all doors except the right one! And I am looking to find some friends ... I could use His help on that too :)
Sunday, August 2, 2009
Two Very Unrealted Thoughts
(1) I am not a sports fan ... I very rarely enjoy watching sports. I like sporting events, but mostly because it is time spent with friends. But I am a fan of sports fans ... I love watching people watch sports! I love that they get super intense, super angry, super happy ... I think it is fascinating. I was at the Orioles game today, and there was a Red Sox fan sitting in front of me. He was decked out in well-worn gear, with a parade of children all dressed in Sox jerseys. He sat there with his iphone, searching stats and marking in his personal score book, exuding an intensity that blessed my heart. I love watching people do the things that bring them the most joy ... even when its at a baseball game!
(2) I read this article called "Betting on Vegas" by MC Taylor for my ethics class this past semester. The article meant very little to me when I read it, largely becuase I didn't understand what he was trying to say. As I understand it, he was using Vegas as the example of where our entire culture is headed ... in Vegas, one gets an experience that mimics real life ... meaning you chase the sign of a reality instead the reality itself. Does that make sense? It didn't really make much sense to me until the last couple weeks. During my last week in Philly, Elizabeth took us all out to coffee and talked with us about what it looks like to be the bride of Christ. It was absolutely wonderful (thats a whole other story ...)! At one point she was telling us that marriage is a picture of what it looks like for us to relate to the divine -- it is a wonderful example, and incredibly sanctifying. But why would I fervently seek the image of a reality instead of the reality itself? In other words, I have been offered a perfectly loving marriage relationship with Christ, and my marriage to my husband will just be a reflection of it. It makes me feel so foolish to recognize that I have been seeking a reflection of a love that is being offered straight to me by Christ. And today I was dwelling on other ways that this way of thinking has been problematic for me ... instead of seeking love, sometimes I merely seek its expression. Silliness. Thank you Lord for using a convoluted, scholarly article to shed light on the ways you desire to teach me. I want to seek the real thing first ... and if a finite image will help me love the Lord more fully, than I hope for that someday.
(2) I read this article called "Betting on Vegas" by MC Taylor for my ethics class this past semester. The article meant very little to me when I read it, largely becuase I didn't understand what he was trying to say. As I understand it, he was using Vegas as the example of where our entire culture is headed ... in Vegas, one gets an experience that mimics real life ... meaning you chase the sign of a reality instead the reality itself. Does that make sense? It didn't really make much sense to me until the last couple weeks. During my last week in Philly, Elizabeth took us all out to coffee and talked with us about what it looks like to be the bride of Christ. It was absolutely wonderful (thats a whole other story ...)! At one point she was telling us that marriage is a picture of what it looks like for us to relate to the divine -- it is a wonderful example, and incredibly sanctifying. But why would I fervently seek the image of a reality instead of the reality itself? In other words, I have been offered a perfectly loving marriage relationship with Christ, and my marriage to my husband will just be a reflection of it. It makes me feel so foolish to recognize that I have been seeking a reflection of a love that is being offered straight to me by Christ. And today I was dwelling on other ways that this way of thinking has been problematic for me ... instead of seeking love, sometimes I merely seek its expression. Silliness. Thank you Lord for using a convoluted, scholarly article to shed light on the ways you desire to teach me. I want to seek the real thing first ... and if a finite image will help me love the Lord more fully, than I hope for that someday.
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