Barnes and Noble

I went to Barnes and Noble to study tonight ... that was a bad idea.
My friend Kim says thatsomething about the smell of Abercrombie makes her want to go on shopping sprees. Well, I walked into Barnes and Noble, and the smell of new books steeped my mind with dreams of adventures and philosophical escapades experienced in the warmth of my grandma's quilt with a good cup of coffee (if I am really dreaming, it would be a butterscotch breve).
Unfortunately, most of the reading I am doing at this point occurs sitting in an uncomfortable chair for the utilitarian purpose of staying awake, while downing a cup of not good coffee (again, to stay awake). I enjoy the majority of the books that I am reading, but I would love to be able to read them in my time. I want to be able to reflect on the witty wisdom of Chesteron or the importance of Coriolanus' life ... but I can't. I have to read everything quickly, just to get it done. I ache for the day that I can walk into the bookstore with pefect liberty to choose any book, and to read it at my leisure. I want to be fully awake for every word I read ... what if I have missed something really important or striking or poignant because of the haze of exhaustion that has fallen over my life? Shoot.
I spent a few minutes indulging my desire to look at books, and it made me excited for the days to come. I am really glad that it seems God isn't calling me directly into graduate school, because I eagerly anticipate some relief from the constant influx of ideas that I don't have time to wrestle with. I am binging on great texts, but not maximizing on the soulful nutrition that could be gained from more time to digest.
Actually, I think that October 8th should provide a lot of the relief I am hoping for ... assuming that I pass my exit interview. Keep that in your prayers ... I need God to throw some wisdom/knowledge my way. And then maybe the smell of new books will be a present joy as opposed to a distant longing ...