"October told me a story
But I think it's too boring
to tell you my friends.
I'll sing it to empty chairs
maybe the sky up above
will pretend to act interested...
Interested.
I'm so tired of my whole thought process
I need more wins, less losses
Set to finding love.
This giant stop watching is ticking
And I'm just not moving
fast enough.
Well la da da, la da da
I'll fall into the sweetest melody
I can think of
And the rest will just come naturally.
Oh it'll just come naturally.
Maybe when I'm twenty-six
I'll look back on all of this
And say 'I'm glad it didn't work out'
But I just wish something would
I wish my soul understood
All that paths that I'm taking right now ...
right now.
Well la da da, la da da
I'll fall into the sweetest melody
I can think of
And the rest will just come naturally.
Oh it'll just come naturally.
I should be more careful with my heart
It's not mine to offer up.
I should be more careful with my heart
It's not mine to offer up.
La da da da da da
La da da da da da
La da da
Well la da da, la da da
I'll fall into the sweetest melody
I can think of
And the rest will just come naturally.
Oh it'll just come naturally."
- Jillian Edwards
The first part, about October being boring, isn't true. But the rest is.
And you can hear her sing it at:
http://www.tangle.com/view_video?viewkey=005d75176505761c2cb5
Saturday, October 31, 2009
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
October
I don't think I have ever enjoyed the fall as much as I have in the past few weeks. The trees are ... jubilant. That's the best word I can find for it. Everywhere I turn there is foliage that is visually singing a whispery, autumnal song. I have been blessed by the gentle breeze, the rain and the moderate temperatures that seem to characterize a Georgia fall. Love it!
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Dancing with Piper's Thought
I feel like every time I encounter John Piper's thoughts in reading or video or podcast, I end up either enamored or frustrated. I just need to vent all those thoughts a little bit ... and the beautiful thing about my blog is that you can stop reading whenever you are sick of my ranting :)
So I have had four memorable encounters with Piper:
1) During one of the bible studies for my sorority, we listened to a Piper podcast. Imagine 10 stressed out sorority girls cramped in an apartment living room listening to Piper in our sweatpants. Not super conducive to good learning. But I remember totally disliking him ... I couldn't even tell you what we listened to, but I vividly remember the bad taste he left in my mouth. He laid to waste the whole of existential thought for a reason that was beyond my comprehension ... which wasn't nearly as disconcerting to my sorority sisters as it was to me. That was encounter #1.
2) I wrote a thesis in order to graduate as a University Scholars major entitled "An Impoverished Theology: Christian Concern for the Poor in Twentieth Century America." It was an academic disaster ... please don't ever ask me to read it. But it was a good learning experience. All that to say, I encountered John Piper in the writing process because of his doctrine of 'Christian Hedonism.' My first problem with this ... I am not convinced that it is a good idea to try and baptize words like hedonism. Hedonism is sinful ... we don't try and and take words like murder or witchcraft and wrap them up in scripture and theology to make them something other than they are. Hedonism is necessarily self-centered, and to throw this term around affords a misunderstanding that breeds selfishness. Granted, Piper is getting at the idea of God-centeredness ... which is why I think it is dumb that he uses the word hedonism. So I ripped him apart in my thesis.
3) In my exploration of the notion of scriptural authority, Anson showed me a short video of Piper's about the Bible. And it was really good ... it spoke right into my questions about the difficulties that I encounter in scripture.
4) I am currently reading "Don't Waste Your Life" ... and I cannot nail down how I feel about him at all. In just the first couple pages, I found myself relating really deeply to Piper ... his affection for CS Lewis, his taste for soul-food from centuries ago, his experience of having his eyes opened to the wonders around him (I have Tolkien to thank for this is my own life), his 'wandering philosophical imagination,' his dream of becoming a doctor, his feeling of being called to ministry, his frustration with reader-oriented interpretation of scripture (another chapter of my thesis) ... we have so much in common. So I can't hate him. Especially because it is clear how deeply he loves the Lord and the Word.
So here I am ... dancing with Piper's thought. Sometimes it draws me in close, and other times whips me out in a spin that creates a dramatic distance between us. For instance, I am still intellectually fighting against his total distrust of existentialism. Perhaps it is because of my stubborn attachment to Thomas' Aquinas belief in the unity of truth ... meaning that I one should never discount any truth, for all truth comes from God. For example, Nietzsche says some pretty crazy stuff, and he also says some pretty brilliant stuff -- and I should never fear recognizing the truth he brings just because of the whole "god is dead" ditty. Piper is right that to say that Christians should never make existentialism their mantra, for that would imply a total denial of any objective, external, universal truth. But I think the idea that "you are what you worship" (something most Christians rightly buy into) is pretty darn existential. And, as a feminist, I personally have been greatly served by existential thought. And Piper refuses to acknowledge that we can reap any benefits of this philosophical movement. And I think that's dumb.
I haven't even come close to finishing the book yet ... so my ballroom-esque meetings with Piper will continue. Just needed someone to know that I was wrestling with him.
So I have had four memorable encounters with Piper:
1) During one of the bible studies for my sorority, we listened to a Piper podcast. Imagine 10 stressed out sorority girls cramped in an apartment living room listening to Piper in our sweatpants. Not super conducive to good learning. But I remember totally disliking him ... I couldn't even tell you what we listened to, but I vividly remember the bad taste he left in my mouth. He laid to waste the whole of existential thought for a reason that was beyond my comprehension ... which wasn't nearly as disconcerting to my sorority sisters as it was to me. That was encounter #1.
2) I wrote a thesis in order to graduate as a University Scholars major entitled "An Impoverished Theology: Christian Concern for the Poor in Twentieth Century America." It was an academic disaster ... please don't ever ask me to read it. But it was a good learning experience. All that to say, I encountered John Piper in the writing process because of his doctrine of 'Christian Hedonism.' My first problem with this ... I am not convinced that it is a good idea to try and baptize words like hedonism. Hedonism is sinful ... we don't try and and take words like murder or witchcraft and wrap them up in scripture and theology to make them something other than they are. Hedonism is necessarily self-centered, and to throw this term around affords a misunderstanding that breeds selfishness. Granted, Piper is getting at the idea of God-centeredness ... which is why I think it is dumb that he uses the word hedonism. So I ripped him apart in my thesis.
3) In my exploration of the notion of scriptural authority, Anson showed me a short video of Piper's about the Bible. And it was really good ... it spoke right into my questions about the difficulties that I encounter in scripture.
4) I am currently reading "Don't Waste Your Life" ... and I cannot nail down how I feel about him at all. In just the first couple pages, I found myself relating really deeply to Piper ... his affection for CS Lewis, his taste for soul-food from centuries ago, his experience of having his eyes opened to the wonders around him (I have Tolkien to thank for this is my own life), his 'wandering philosophical imagination,' his dream of becoming a doctor, his feeling of being called to ministry, his frustration with reader-oriented interpretation of scripture (another chapter of my thesis) ... we have so much in common. So I can't hate him. Especially because it is clear how deeply he loves the Lord and the Word.
So here I am ... dancing with Piper's thought. Sometimes it draws me in close, and other times whips me out in a spin that creates a dramatic distance between us. For instance, I am still intellectually fighting against his total distrust of existentialism. Perhaps it is because of my stubborn attachment to Thomas' Aquinas belief in the unity of truth ... meaning that I one should never discount any truth, for all truth comes from God. For example, Nietzsche says some pretty crazy stuff, and he also says some pretty brilliant stuff -- and I should never fear recognizing the truth he brings just because of the whole "god is dead" ditty. Piper is right that to say that Christians should never make existentialism their mantra, for that would imply a total denial of any objective, external, universal truth. But I think the idea that "you are what you worship" (something most Christians rightly buy into) is pretty darn existential. And, as a feminist, I personally have been greatly served by existential thought. And Piper refuses to acknowledge that we can reap any benefits of this philosophical movement. And I think that's dumb.
I haven't even come close to finishing the book yet ... so my ballroom-esque meetings with Piper will continue. Just needed someone to know that I was wrestling with him.
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Ministry is Complicated
So I learned some unexpected ministry lessons yesterday ... and I am becoming ever-more aware of how vital the Holy Spirit is to life-giving ministry. People and situations are too complicated for formulas or theologies or cookie-cutter responses.
Anson spent some time with me in the morning, relating the craziness of his weekend. He told me that, as a minister, it is not enough to just teach well, to invest in people, to give all of yourself to compassion -- in addition, we are to call sin out when we see it. Nobody talks about that responsibility and being abrasive is not usually a part of the pastoral job description. But Jesus was in the business of calling people out on their crap ... and it usually wasn't doctored up to seem nice. I mean, come on ... "Woe to you, Pharisees"? Not nice. But apparently necessary. As it says in 2 Timothy 2:4, "correct, rebuke and encourage—with great patience and careful instruction." So two-thirds of a pastor's job description isn't necessarily super fun. Just something to think about. I want the Lord to show me how to do this rightly ... with great patience and careful instruction.
And then, in the afternoon, Anson sat Paul and I down to tell us about what it looks like to minister to families who have just lost loved ones. That is something that I hope to never do, but seeing as the majority of the population is going to pass away at some point, I assume that this will (in some capacity) be a part of my life. Anson, a man of many words (all of which are wise ... or funny) told us that the best thing to say is nothing. Literally, nothing. He said there are absolutely no words that are appropriate, and that you are just going to do damage if you try to use words. He said that you love them by being there. Something to dwell on.
Anson spent some time with me in the morning, relating the craziness of his weekend. He told me that, as a minister, it is not enough to just teach well, to invest in people, to give all of yourself to compassion -- in addition, we are to call sin out when we see it. Nobody talks about that responsibility and being abrasive is not usually a part of the pastoral job description. But Jesus was in the business of calling people out on their crap ... and it usually wasn't doctored up to seem nice. I mean, come on ... "Woe to you, Pharisees"? Not nice. But apparently necessary. As it says in 2 Timothy 2:4, "correct, rebuke and encourage—with great patience and careful instruction." So two-thirds of a pastor's job description isn't necessarily super fun. Just something to think about. I want the Lord to show me how to do this rightly ... with great patience and careful instruction.
And then, in the afternoon, Anson sat Paul and I down to tell us about what it looks like to minister to families who have just lost loved ones. That is something that I hope to never do, but seeing as the majority of the population is going to pass away at some point, I assume that this will (in some capacity) be a part of my life. Anson, a man of many words (all of which are wise ... or funny) told us that the best thing to say is nothing. Literally, nothing. He said there are absolutely no words that are appropriate, and that you are just going to do damage if you try to use words. He said that you love them by being there. Something to dwell on.
Saturday, October 3, 2009
Compassion in Action
Well, today was the first big service project for the high school ministry ... yay! Well, I guess technically it was yesterday (since it's past midnight). But that is besides the point. I pretty much spent a lot of time trying to get students psyched and signed up, and then spent a TON of time coordinating permission forms and vans and t-shirts and phone calls and all the other details that go into making a bigger project happen. And I am tired.
I have really mixed feelings about the day. On the one hand, only about half of the signed-up students actually showed up. It was really frustrating that Sandy and I spent so much time scrambling for drivers and vehicles that were totally superfluous. So that is really obnoxious ... especially since the co-op would have been really well served by the money that we spent on those extra rental vans.
But, on the other hand, the students that came were AWESOME! Let's be honest ... students that are willing to be at the church by eight in the morning to serve the Lord together are the bomb. They had such willing hearts and attitudes, and they collected A TON of food! And they really understood the connection between the canned goods and local needy families without me having to force some contrived reflection exercise on them.
And I was EXTREMELY blessed by all the people who caught my vision for the day, helped me to make it all happen, and then loved me through the low points. The adult volunteers for the high school ministry never cease to amaze me with their willingness to give freely of their time and effort and love. And there were several drivers/shuttlers today who aren't even regularly involved in the high school ministry, but they stepped up when there was a need. I love watching the way that they body of Christ works!
Despite all the details that drove me crazy, I think the three big goals were met: (1) we glorified the Lord and (2) we wet the appetites of the students for serving and (3) we send a LOT of food to the Co-op. Praise Him!
I have really mixed feelings about the day. On the one hand, only about half of the signed-up students actually showed up. It was really frustrating that Sandy and I spent so much time scrambling for drivers and vehicles that were totally superfluous. So that is really obnoxious ... especially since the co-op would have been really well served by the money that we spent on those extra rental vans.
But, on the other hand, the students that came were AWESOME! Let's be honest ... students that are willing to be at the church by eight in the morning to serve the Lord together are the bomb. They had such willing hearts and attitudes, and they collected A TON of food! And they really understood the connection between the canned goods and local needy families without me having to force some contrived reflection exercise on them.
And I was EXTREMELY blessed by all the people who caught my vision for the day, helped me to make it all happen, and then loved me through the low points. The adult volunteers for the high school ministry never cease to amaze me with their willingness to give freely of their time and effort and love. And there were several drivers/shuttlers today who aren't even regularly involved in the high school ministry, but they stepped up when there was a need. I love watching the way that they body of Christ works!
Despite all the details that drove me crazy, I think the three big goals were met: (1) we glorified the Lord and (2) we wet the appetites of the students for serving and (3) we send a LOT of food to the Co-op. Praise Him!
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